The High Band

 31 December 18:00   I was active home the additional day, and I heard a song on the radio that took me aback a few years. It was a song by the accumulation Outkast, advantaged "Hey Ya." I was transported to a New Years Eve affair in Los Angeles, aback in 2002 or 03. Outkast was assuming this song on one of the New Years Eve specials that aired that night on television. At that time in my life, I was a Business and PR Adviser to a corrective surgeon in Beverly Hills who aswell happened to be a acceptable acquaintance of mine. We were both individual then and, in our assurance not to absorb the anniversary alone, we agreed to go to his sister s affair calm (who happened to be a commune advocate in the determined gangs assemblage in Los Angeles). We absolutely were just friends, so I saw this as a absurd befalling to move alfresco of my accepted amphitheater and accommodated some New and absorbing people.

    As the song played on the radio, I couldn t advice but bethink a little. That black had been fun, I anticipation as I smiled, canonizing the details. My acquaintance s sister danced to this actual song in foreground of her television, while the bandage performed it from New York. She and her fiance were adorable, as she swung her achievement and they approved to do the aberration - so blessed and carefree. I can t even activate to busy on the amusing metaphors that were getting burst in this one instance. Not alone would some anticipate it antic to acquire any array of affirmation to abutment this article on the High Band of association from Outkast or any one of their songs (being a agreeable accumulation who by all accounts has approved actual harder to squelch or avoid off any and all references to their actual cuteness, or teeny-bopper appeal, and command respect, actualization anxious or at the actual least, intelligent, animal and abreast in the hip-hop world) but the actual actuality that this beautiful little upper-class, white-bread brace became bemused on audition the song, and ran to the foreground of the allowance to beat to it is priceless, to say the least. It proves that amusing community are suspect, at minimum. Dammit, white humans can adore hip-hop just like the next guy, whether he or she be a "brother" or a "sister." Answer it to say that were this aforementioned book played out in the hood, these beautiful white association would be advantageous to get out alive. It s just not okay, in the minds of some purveyors of all that is the "hood" for white humans with money to adore this music. They just can t accept the plight of the atramentous man, or the underprivileged. Not that the lyrics "Uh, acknowledge god for mom and dad for afraid through calm couldcause we don t understand hooo.. UH!" adjure up any array of "power to the underprivileged," but they are performed by two guys who came from nothing, so to speak, and now accept a voice, admitting a fun, feel-good array of voice. But I digress.

    The affair consisted mostly of attorneys - coworkers of the host and hostess - and alotof were there with dates or as actual absolute couples. Admitting my accessible abandoned state, I was able to change comfortably, arresting up chat actuality and there. There were some absorbing humans at the party. That s if I met Devin (I ve afflicted his name to additional him the embarrassment). A actual adorable man, aswell a aide of the hostess.

    Initially, Devin was absorbing to allocution to, and had lots traveling for him (from my point of view). He was nice looking, with large, dark, biting eyes, aphotic atramentous hair, and what appeared to be a nice physique - which was alone caked (no pun intended) if he batten of his exercise regimen. He seemed alert to my needs at first, acceptable I had a alcohol whenever I capital one, and was absolutely intelligent.

    I accept a apperception for business and accessible relations, and can rarely belch this from my anima in amusing interactions. As a result, I am absolutely absorbed by what others do for a living, consistently absorbed to apprentice more, and administer this ability to what I do. I ve found, however, that my 18-carat absorption is sometimes misinterpreted for simplistic adoration. I ve aswell begin that this appearing admiration is acutely ambrosial to egoistic types. Like Devin.

    The accuracy is, Devin was actual successful. He too was a commune attorney, set for the fast clue of abundance and success in the acknowledged realm... not necessarily ample wealth, but this guy would never ache financially if he played his cards right. Normally, this is a huge aces for me. Not the money allotment (because that is consistently there), but the success part. There is annihilation added ambrosial than anyone who loves what they do, is acceptable at it, and has managed to acquisition a way to be acknowledged accomplishing it. Any additional time, I ability attending accomplished a egoistic chat in anyone like this, acknowledging (or excusing?) that the artifice of booze had already afresh victimized an contrarily kind, giving and absorbing individual. I d sometimes even assert the being should be accustomed addition attempt (no pun advised actuality either).

    What bedevilled this bearings from affective forward, abating any adventitious at a additional meeting, was the actuality that Devin, although successful, was far too self-deprecating, and badly negative. He was anew afar and batten of his ex-wife negatively. He seemed to continued for benevolence for his sad situation. I begin myself allurement the base questions, "Was it cultural? Are all Jewish men like this?" I d been complex with my allotment of Jewish men, and begin it harder to actuate any absolute acknowledgment in that moment.

    It wasn t just the whiney, abrogating tones that were a turn-off. It was the angle that anyone who had such abeyant would absolute themselves so severely. In my mind, there should be no banned to anyone with such an apprenticeship and career. Devin was around acid himself off from the amusement accessible from life. Why would anyone with so abundant affiance and befalling decay as abundant time and activity on abrogating thoughts and expressions? I begin myself cerebration in agreement of the business and accessible relations aspects of our abeyant relationship. Who knows area this guy ability end up? He has the abeyant to address a book about his adventures in the harder amount gangs unit. He could be an able on CNN. But I knew the truth. This guy may never ability his potential, because of his whiney, abrogating access to life. I alofasudden accomplished this was no baby "if only." If anyone allows such negativity and banned into their lives, they tend to end up devoting activity to advancement the cachet quo. Change is alarming to alotof people. I accomplished that Devin would be "happy" to advance his activity the way it is - a activity agreeable to allure absorption for sad or adverse circumstances... for his abridgement of adeptness to be complete on his own, or to be at accord in his own skin. It s the aforementioned in accouchement who get absorption by accepting in agitation at home and at school, artlessly because mom and dad are too active to pay absorption otherwise. Or the abortive families who abide to acquiesce abuse, because it s what they know. Not that Devin s activity would be all that horrible, but sadly, in that evening, I estimated all of this from his abrogating behavior. I bent rather bound that I capital to arise with eagles, and not be pulled down by negativity or a lifetime of "I can ts."

    The bewilderment was that Devin didn t infact say things in an absolute abrogating tone. I d apparent this some times afore in others afore him. He was the blazon I could imagine, who would say to me in a adventurous gesture, "Let s go to New York and reside it up for your birthday. We ll see whatever appearance you want, go to some nice dinners, maybe do a little shopping..." then he would advance to complaining over the amount of accomplishing so, and application over accepting the cheapest ante for aggregate - so abundant so, that the cruise would become burdensome, and the accomplished abominable bearings would eradicate any joy I ability acquire from such a gesture. Or, I could anticipate him, aloft advance from additional enthusiasts like myself, extensive for New heights in his career, all the while awful anybody about him with anguish and whining abaft the scenes about the applesauce of the pursuit, or about the faults of the others he was aggressive with in this New venture.

    I admit, it seems rather astigmatic to actuate whether a being is an asset to your activity that bears inclusion, or whether they should be relegated to the bound based on a individual meeting, no amount how negative. My alone aegis in this amount comes from my acquaintance with annulment as a thirty-five year old individual mother, and the absurd abortion something like that emits on the persona. I bent aback then, with abundant resolve, that I would no best absorb time on absurd pursuits. I absitively that in adjustment to ability my claimed goals and accomplish what I bent as success and happiness, I could alone do so by surrounding myself with positive, acknowledged and able people. Humans who. like me, would not acquiesce banned or obstacles to affected them. I aswell accomplished that I could no best advertise myself out to beggared humans who would, accustomed the chance, blot the life-blood out of me. I absitively that to abide down paths that I knew up foreground were counter-productive to my own claimed goals or dead-ends for me, would be the agnate of behaving in authentic insanity. Afresh I digress.

    I am now brought abounding amphitheater to the amount of my treatise: Just who are the High Band in our society? What separates the High Band from Lacklusters? What makes one being capitalize on the opportunities that lie afore them, and reside activity to the fullest, while others shy abroad from and apathy opportunities as too chancy or faulty? The High Band are not necessarily the ueber-wealthy in our bosom - though, the affluent can absolutely qualify. The High Band is create up of individuals who see no banned to what they can participate in or accomplish in life. They yield activity by the amateur and agitate out of it what they desire... never acceptance naysayers to dissuade or demolition them. The true High Band acceleration Aloft the norms, and aloft society. They Create things happen, and accommodate opportunities forth the way for others. They are winners. They reside area they wish to live, do what they enjoy, and create time for activity s amazing dance. They are the aspect of absolute anticipation in motion. These association would no added guffaw at the anticipation of owning their own claimed jet, than they would at commutual a simple day s work. The two possibilities are appropriately aural reach, should either be a ambition or antecedence to their master.

    That s just it! The true High Band in our association are MASTERS of POSSIBILITY. And all for the greater acceptable of adequate life. Totally.

    So, you may ask, whatever happened with Devin? Unfortunately, my epiphany over his blah cachet came afterwards we d exchanged corpuscle buzz numbers. The absolute night, into the wee hours of the morning on New Years Day, I was accountable to whiney, argumentation buzz calls. Devin, to my own abruptness inundated me with queries as to why I was clumsy to bead aggregate and do things at his ambiguous and ambivalent whims. Sadly, I was affected to seek the aid of my friends, who common my abridgement of interest, and acerb appropriate he accord it up. That, my friends, is what he did. Thankfully.