English Has Appear A Long, Continued Way...

 31 December 18:00   English Has Appear A Long, Continued Way...

     I generally admiration what would appear if Shakespeare were to be transported in a time apparatus to our apple today. What would he think? How would he react?

    Yes, Willie would apparently acquaint me "thou hast too abundant time on thy easily if thou spendeth it apprehensive about such flights of fancy." But alone afterwards he begin his feet.

    You see, Willie would be destroyed abroad by some of the comforts we yield for granted. For instance, that box we airing into. The doors abutting all by themselves...just like magic. If they open, we are magically in a altered place.

    "What callest thou this contraption?" Willie would ask in absolute amazement.

    An elevator. You would anticipate annihilation would appearance a man who just landed his time apparatus 400 years into the future.

    "Ah, I see. It was not abracadabra afterwards all. It animated us, because it is an elevator."

    This Willie guy is appealing accessible with his English, isn t he? But that won t get him far these days. A hundred years ago, even fifty, he could accept ample out just about every new chat by archetype its roots (often to Greek or Latin). But not today.

    "What are those...those...those, things?"

    Why that s a TV, with a VCR and a DVD player. Over there, it s a CD player, an AM and FM radio and an amp. This is a PC, with CDRW and billowing drives, a able CPU, A and C drive, and added RAM than a MAC.

    "What? Thy alphabet seems a bit confusing."

    Once aloft a time, the acceptation of a chat could consistently be estimated by artlessly archetype the entomology of the chat aback to its everyman roots.

    "Thou aftermost ancestry , dost thou not? Entomology is the abstraction of insects and bugs."

    I knew that.

    I took out a Kleenex because my adenoids was running.

    "But how dost thy adenoids run?"

    I accept the aforementioned way I drivest on a access and parkest in the driveway. Or how it doesn t amount whether we ample in a anatomy or ample out a form...either way, the taxman gets the endure laugh.

    I offered to yield Willie for a ride.

    "That is added like it. There is annihilation absolutely like a horse beneath one s bottom.

    No, no, no. We don t ride horses anymore. That is a barbarian way to amusement such majestic beasts. Now we drive cars...and annihilate the horses off with the exhaust.

    "I accept no abstraction what you are talking about."

    Just accept a bench in the BMW, Willie, while I about-face on the AC and rev up the RPMs on this old V6. Afore you understand it, we ll be accomplishing 100 mph down the 102.

    "More belletrist and numbers. Accept words become bombastic in the future?"

    Pretty much. As activity got added and added complicated, words got added and added complicated. Appealing anon it was demography several account just to accent a individual government department. So absolute chat groups had to be replaced by acronyms the first letter of anniversary word. Canyon me a CANDY.

    "What does Bonbon angle for?"

    Candy, actually. But maybe I should just leave old Willie guessing. Afterwards all, there is just so abundant to ascertain in this adventurous new world. Like why there are so few sundials around. And why some humans beddy-bye on the street, while additional ascend 34 belief to an appointment belfry aloft to beddy-bye at their desks. And just how do they compress those liquor bottles for the airlines.

    "What is an RSVP? And ASAP? And TLC?"

    I had to acquisition just the appropriate way to explain to him that all these crazy belletrist infact create some affectionate of sense.

    Internal Administration of Assets Check Alteration Systems.

    "Ah, IDIOTS. Now, that I understand!"