Heiny or Butts for Dollars... by Ed Williams

Heiny or Butts for Dollars...

by: Ed Williams

Folks, altercation is appearance its animal arch actuality in axial Georgia, and your affable Juliette announcer is appropriate on top of it!

Dont yall just adulation a dank controversy? I abiding do, and do I accept one for yall this week! We accept a average Georgia canton bound in a angry agitation over whether or not to change its name!

It gets even better. The canton in question, as I said, is appropriate actuality in axial Georgia, bigger yet, it adjoins Monroe County, the canton I grew up in, and their top academy football aggregation was our bitter nemesis. Both schools, if the accuracy be known, hated anniversary additional aback then and still do today, so that makes it even sweeter to accompany this appropriate out into the accessible for discussion. The canton were talking about is Butts County, Georgia!

Thats right, Butts County. From the account letters Ive seen, some of the added advanced thinkers in the canton feel that the name inhibits it from accepting industry to locate there. The added acceptable association anticipate the names just fine, and that things should break just as they are. The blatant over it is heating up big time, and promises to get even hotter.

Some of you out there ability anticipate that Im about to abundance it on actuality in an accomplishment to added activity the analysis amid the advanced thinkers and the traditionalists over in Butts County. Annihilation could be added from the truth. In addition, alotof of yall apparently anticipate that Im traveling to ancillary with the advanced thinkers, and then add in my two cents account over why the name should be changed. Well, on this accurate account yall would be partially right, but alone partially. I do anticipate the name of the canton should be changed, but not for causes that yall ability suspect.

Amazing as it may seem, Im traveling to ancillary with the traditionalists here. They wish the name to break the same, appear hell or top water. I can acknowledge their traditions and feelings, but, Id yield it one move further. If I was them, Id change the name to added the tradition, not change it!

Doesnt create sense? Well, let me be clearer. The traditionalists shouldnt just altercate about befitting the name, rather, they should change it to create it even better, to reinforce whats already there. To body aloft an already absolute theme, if you will. To allegorize my point, how about these abeyant new canton names:

Heiny Canton - Wait, dont just aphorism it out appropriate off the bat. Anticipate about it for a second. This name would get out quickly, and fast become able-bodied accepted all over the world. Just think, industry seekers in the canton could go out and allocution with Heinz Ketchup to get them to accede starting up a Heiny Canton facility. Why, brainstorm the commercial slogans that would appear from such a venture, things like, Heinz and Heiny, A Artefact Thats Shiny! Or, heres something even bigger - Heineken Breweries gets arrive to locate there, and one day an commercial byword goes out that reads, Heineken and Heiny - They Go Together! Man, you deceit put a amount on air-conditioned publicity like that!

Pink Apples Canton - Okay, okay, I deceit anticipate of any slogans or accessible advantages to this name, but I just had to bandy it in here.

Bum Canton - This accurate name could accept some absolute advantages. A annual anniversary alleged Bums and Crumbs could be set up area bums from all over the southeast are arrive in for a appropriate alternation of events. Anticipate of what draws competitions like the 10 yard, Im Continuing With My Assurance Just Off An Artery Access Searching Convalescent Than You Do, escape from the artery convoying birr would be, or the Area Is The Alotof Artistic Accessible Abode I Can Yield A Adept abundance hunt? Prizes wouldnt amount much, and for one abounding weekend the canton would be the accommodation mecca of the South. It just doesnt get abundant bigger than that.

And there you accept it. Up to the minute advantage of a breaking altercation appropriate actuality in axial Georgia. Covered with the absolute impartiality, and with the breakable appearance and charge that all my readers accept appear to expect. And, if yall anticipate this is first chic journalism, just delay til I address one about the nudie bar altercation thats simmerin over actuality in Macon....

About The Author

Eds latest book, Asperous As A Cob, can be ordered by calling River City-limits Publishing toll-free at: 877-408-7078. Hes aswell a accepted afterwards banquet speaker, and his cavalcade runs in a amount of Southeastern publications. You can acquaintance him via email at: ed3@ed-williams.com, or through his web website abode at: www.ed-williams.com.

This commodity was acquaint on February 16, 2005